Enrollable mother wants non-tribal adoptive home

 

April 14, 2007

We need prayers.  We have 2 children in our home our oldest is almost 18 and turns out is eligible for enrollment.  She has decided to place her daughter for adoption and chose a non-Indian family to adopt her.  The tribe requires no blood quantum only a family member on the final Dawes rolls.  My 17 year old is not enrolled and her daughter is not either but qualifies for enrollment.  They stopped the proceedings the day the adoption took place and are trying to enroll them against the expressed wishes of my 17 year old who will be 18 in less than a month.  She wasn’t even aware that she was Indian.  She has suffered severe abuse her entire life and now feels that she is being abused by people that she dose not even remember meeting at the age of 12 they have not been to the court hearings involving her for years and have not ensured that she was aware of her heratige.  They have also not ensured that either child was enroled untill now that they want her baby for their adoptive homes.  This is a miss use of the purpose of the ICWA and is causing this child undue harm and in her mind the feeling of being raped!  We are blessed with an atty that has fought the ICWA and won and I believe they are just hoping that we will accept it and not fight I believe they do not have a case because neither child or parent is enroled but this still requires prayer.

UPDATE April 14, 2007

… A has been in foster care on and off since the age of 12 all parental rights have been terminated and her tribe was notified she became pregnant as a result of rape and was placed in my home shortly after the birth of her daughter.  They have known about her since the age of 12 and said they havent been comming to the hearings because it has been status quo.  Not once have they contacted me or A to see that she was ok or to let us know of the benifits avaiable these are blond haired blue eyed children who appear to have no indian in them so there was never a question and the lack of tribal involvement made the atty’s and csw forgot about it.  She selected a home that she trusts to raise her child and will allow continued contact.  They were everything that she told DHS in the first meeting that she wanted in parents for her daughter.  DHS could not find that family.  We found that family and DHS expidited their paperwork and got them approved for adoption. 

The Baby is severly delayed and because of that and a few family issues of the baby none of the potential homes that DHS approached wanted her.  We love her also but decided not to adopt for 2 reasons.  We want to be there for A and she has no one except us and plan to be a continued support system for A after she leaves foster care, she sees us as mom and dad and needs us.  We also feel that we are not the best adoptive home for J she needs alot of focus to ensure that she can thrive and because of issues of social delays and that fact that we have 2 other toddlers in our home that we have adopted we cannot give her the attention that she needs. 

The family that want to adopt her has spent time with her and know of her delays and possible mental retardation and love her and want her  Per the testing done and the problems with J’s aggression to other children she needs to be in a home with no other children we are the best home for A but not the best home for J.  The tribe came to our home and told A that she does not have a choice and has to place with them then they tooted how they considered thenm their children and J needed to be in an Indian home and A did not have the right to take that away from her.  If they were their children where have they been, they have not ensured that they were enrolled, they have not ensured that they knew they were indian I feel that their only concern is over a fininancial gain to the tribe. 

I knew about the ICWA I researched it before the adoption of my son because because of features I was concerned that the ICWA might apply.  I would have never allowed bonding between my children and the prospective adoptive home if had known they were indian!  My main concern is that they are trying to enroll them now aginst A’s wishes and apparently can because they are both in foster care.  J should allready be in her adoptive home and A should be able to go and enjoy prom tonite without having to be concerned about the future of her baby. 

– Lisa I would also be happy to be a part of your prayer team and I am sure the potiential adoptive parents would aslo like to be a part of their strong christian faith was an important part of their selection to be J’s parents.

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